Sweet on 22..

Few days from now, I will be turning 22. It is second birthday without my Mom. Before, I was always excited when the 24th of January comes, but things are no longer the same today. Though I made all things for my day just to enjoy it, there is just a feeling that one of the best persons in my life is lacking. However, as they said, life must go on, it should not stop when somebody passed away.

Thus, I am still thankful of our God for HE gave me wonderful people around. I know I can always count on my family. I have two supportive Mamangs (my guardians), two brothers who never failed to make me laugh everyday, one partner who always supports me all the way, co-workers who let me learn things each day, and true friends who remained true in the same way. These are the things I am so thankful of, because I don’t really know what I will be when I am just alone.

I thank GOD for the every day that HE gave me and I will look forward for more days, though it may be of problems or not. On the 24th, I will be celebrating a simple birthday yet a fulfilling one, because of these treasures around. Since then, birthdays should always come with a wish, thus if I am going to have a wish it would just be very simple;

“I want us to live longer so we can share more good memories together.” This was the chance that I was not able to make with Mommy.

 

Thank you God, I owe you my 22nd years in this world. Thank you for what I have become and on who I will be in the future.

 

 

Love,

Sweets

LiFE GOES ON..

It is so hard to go on with life when I still wanted to g0 back with the past. I wanted to reminisce certain point in my life where I still have HER around me. Two years ago before she left us, I had not been able to figure out MUCH, the importance of her presence in our lives, there were some gaps between us due to her busy teaching career. I even miss now the way she nags, the way she gave me a tiger-stare and even the way she scolded me, I miss it. It is almost two years now since the day she left and rest for eternity, but I can still figure out the pain and the wound within me. It is not really easy to let go of a certain person, even though we know that she is leaving for good, with GOD.

I can still caught myself crying and staring at the middle of nowhere. I can still caught myself wishing and asking for “what if’s”, but I can never bring back time. I even got jealous seeing a MOTHER and DAUGHTER hanging out together, going out for shopping and groceries because those were the things we usually did before. If only I could ask GOD for 100 Days more, but I still end up wishing and waking up into reality that it will happen NO MORE.

GOD, just let me say this, “I miss my Mom..” and there’s no remedy to that. Though I’ll cry for pails of tears, but still, everything is just up to crying.

I am a Social Engineer..

If Civil Engineers build strong and high buildings,
we Teachers, as Social Engineers, will build the Youth through our teachings.. I am proud, I am One..

This is my Floor, This is my Crown!

           It was in December 17, 2005 when I took my first step into a stage, in front of a huge crowd. Everything was new and even the experience was new. I used to perform but only in dancing. I did not even think in my dreams that someday I can be one of the beauty contestants where crowd roared in upheaval. It was my first time to join a beauty and brain contest and yes it was a thrill feeling. I always wonder what will I do and on how will people look at me. I was just so thankful because I have a guardian (MOMMY) who was so supportive who sticks with me to aim for the crown. There were times where I cried during the rehearsals due to my fears, however, Mom became an inspiration for me to succeed. The final night came and the show began, everyone was on their heels and each of us wanted to grab the crown, luckily, the floor became mine and I had it all. I thought that would be my first and final experience, but a couple of months later, I was again chosen to represent our Education Department. It was another challenge, and again, i took the fight. We were 9 then, and I was in the last number, luckily, the crown was mine again.

Years passed by, I became too busy with my college degree where I even got no chance for my passion; dancing. I thought, the last pageant would really be the last, but it was not. I was chosen again to represent our class for another contest along with my 2 classmates who were also on the same floor with

 me. We took the fight with other contestants, and we became victorious once more, and I grabbed the crown again. From then on, I was then became sure that it will be the last time for me to take the floor. We graduated our bachelors degree and luckily i was able to land a job a year ago.

There were really times where I missed being in the stage. I miss the fun and the challenge being in front of the crowd. However, there were lots of changes that had happened and that  includes my “body figure”, and which is a big LOL! I just closed my mind, that the last crown is the last one. However, chance

s became so naughty when another contest came my way. We were in an English Workshop and one of the best part of the affair was the fun night. I was chosen by my co-teachers, and I really don’t know if they were serious or fooling me.  As expected, I joined the contest again with my contest partner for the male category. We had made it. I took the floor thinking it would be my last exposure, and thank GOD, it was all worth it. With all those experiences that I had, there is just one thing that I always kept in mind; “WHEN YOU JOIN A CERTAIN COMPETITION, ALWAYS AIM FOR THE CROWN”, that was how MOMMY inspired me until know, that even though I no longer have a perfect vital statistics, I can still do my best.:) This is for you MOMMY!

I am Sweet Diana Dawn..

I am Sweet Diana Dawn Potestas Paller. Born on January 24, 1990, at 2:45 dawn. It has been 21 years now since the day I started to have my first cry. There had been lots of twists that I had encounter. Countless tears and thousands of smiles with friends, family and l0ve one. Every now and then, I am so grateful for the kind of life that I have. Though I was not able to live a life of luxury, yet, every single moment of my life is worth keeping. I am what I am right now because of the things that this life of mine experienced.

For many years of living, there is just one goal that I kept in mind, and that is to pursue the dream of Mommy for me. Being a Teacher is what she wants me to be, and I am so thankful that I was able to reached that dream now. I am now a Teacher. I simple girl who still used to play is already an advocate of learning. I am now carrying great responsibilities in my shoulder.

Nevertheless, everything happens for a reason. Wherever I may be and whatever I may become is of great purpose, and that is the reason of my life. May GOD guide me through this journey.

Despite of the shortcomings that I have, I am still grateful ‘coz Jesus gave me a life like this. I have Mommy up there in heaven, my two guardian angels here; Mama Sarah & Mama Daying, best of friends and a partner, and they are my wealth, worth keeping of.

Thanks Almighty One, for this gift of Life..

A wish.. A dream..

 

It was so awful how years had passed and now, I am already a Teacher. Years way back, it was my dream always, to wear a teacher’s uniform along with my Mom.. There is always a smile in my eyes every time I started to wonder what a life would I have when that day would come.

I had a College Instructor before, who is having with her a special one, her daughter, who is also a Teacher and they were wearing the same school uniform, working for the same field, Department of Education, and they were both an advocate of learning, if only Mommy and I could be like them. How I wish to bring back those days where i still have Mommy with me.

Though there were really times of hardships and misunderstandings between us, missing such a special person would erase all those pains. If only I could bring back those days again, I would be one of the most proud daughter the world can have, because I have a real Idol beside me, and we are wearing the same school uniform as what I dreamed long before.

Nevertheless, I know it won’t happen any longer, and such wish is already a dream.. Wherever she is now, I know she is watching over me, and wearing her own school uniform with me, in Heaven..

I miss you so much Mommy..

My Life’s Inspiration..

I was just 3 months old when this woman took care of me just like her own daughter. Just like a real mother, she nurtured me like her own blood and flesh, give her full love and attention unconditionally.. When she was still with us, there were really times where I cannot understand how she handled me.. But it came into a point where I realized that She only wanted me to become independent and strong, and her reason is always this: “I am not always at your side Sweet, to help you when you need me.“

There were many times that I had been so embarrassed when I am being scolded in front of people, it brought me tears. There were times were I have no ideas with my class lessons, but she never offer her help even though I am needing it the most. That was how she raised me, strange but it was all worth it.

It was more than a year when this woman had left us. I was breaking, and I was afraid that I might not be able to stand again. However, it made me realize that she taught me to become strong before she left, thus, I need to be strong just as how she wanted me to be. Death won’t bring an alive person once again. It was one of the most painful time that had happened in my life, when this woman whom I look up to as MOTHER, died.. Up to this time, I am still holding back my tears when there are times that I am longing for her caress.

All I have to do is to face the reality that she is not with us anymore and it was never easy up to this time.. I know tears may fall while writing this note, but I want the world to know how grateful I am to have this woman in my life. I am not what I AM without her.. Thank you Mommy for being my MOM, though I am not yours by blood and flesh but you were more than a REAL MOTHER to me.

You will always be my inspiration, though there might be times that I tend to surrender.. thank you for everything, you made my life, a worthy life to live.. This is all for you.. :’(

 

I am..

A girl who haven’t experienced h0w it feels to be with a c0mplete family, but my guardians, especially m0mmy filled my life with l0ve and care which let me ask f0r n0thing m0re.. M0mmy left us, & left me as she rest with G0d, but she never left me al0ne.. I am now m0ving f0rward with my life al0ng with her guidance, and all th0se less0ns that she taught me with life.. I may n0t have a life that is full of luxury, but I can pr0udly say that their l0ve f0r me are wealth en0ugh f0r me to take care 0f..

I am always thankful 0f having this life, th0ugh it has been made by G0d as perfectly imperfect.. i had learned a l0t & will c0ntinue learning day by day. I am s0 blessed with great friends, who remained t0 be true and supp0rtive behind my back.. A partner who sticks with me with all the imperfecti0ns that i have, and my guardians who became my inspirations all the days 0f my life.. all these were things that I am s0 thankful 0f, that G0d all0ws me t0 live, up t0 this day..

Teaching: My Profession..

Teaching was never a dreamed career that I wanted to be when I was young. It was my Mom who has been a teacher not just to me but to all young minds who had inspired me with this profession. For many years, I had worked hard with my studies, pursuing and fighting each problems until such time that I had able to received a piece of paper which merit the degree that I have.

There had been times when I felt that it would be too hard for me to achieve my profession, and thus, I started shifting myself to my passion and talent in writing. I had worked for more than a year in an outsourcing company. I had able to develop my skills in writing and learn new things that are never been taught to school. Just the same, I worked hard being a web writer until I was promoted with a new position, the writers’ team lead. I started enjoying my job, thinking that I would become a writer until I get old. However, it had came in an instant when somebody from the Department of Education called me, saying that I can now start practicing my profession. It was then like a paradigm shift. Everything seemed to be new when I accepted such opportunity.

I turned my back to my outsourcing family and open my life into a new world being a teacher. It was not easy as I start taking my step into this profession. Tears,patience, hard work and acceptance were all that I have during my start. I had missed my old routine where I just woke up at dawn, get off for my work in the office and sit the whole day in front the computer, and start generating all the ideas of my mind for my writings. Today, everything was a whole new experience and challenge. Each day, I am handling 40 young minds whom are seeking for knowledge and more learnings from what they called as TEACHER.. I hope I can be able to give them all, on what are the things that are intended to be impart. Learnings with classroom lessons, and learnings in life..

Anytime and Anywhere.. (when we’re together)

There had been lots of times wasted due to some misunderstandings; thus, from time to time today, we gave the best that we can in order to fill in those lost days that we are together yet far from each other. I always love seeing these pictures.  It can make me smile once in a while whenever I got the time of browsing them all in my picture collections.. Through all the years that we had been together, I had learned a lot from him. I grown up not just being a girl, but being a real woman as well. We were like roller coaster before. Often times, we got lots of trials to face, yet, as we go along the sail, we learned to be stronger and fight for each other as well..

i love you Baby, with all my heart.. ((: